Well where oh where has this baby been? I have to be honest with you friends, I have been in isolation. Lately I haven’t been exercising and my eating has been the worst it’s been in a very long time. Some of my old habits like fried food, cake and ice cream, diet coke, CHIPS, were only sometimes food. However, lately I’ve snuck some of this stuff into my daily diet. The result of not exercising and starting tomorrow with my healthy eating has added up to 10 pounds of weight gain. Yes, I know this for a fact because the great part of all of this is, I haven’t given up and I still go to my weekly WW meetings. So the scale tells me so. The scale is just a measuring tool but the real effect is feel I tired, moody, short tempered and overwhelmed.
The positive to all of this is I haven’t gone to the part of my self esteem that can really beat myself up about this. Don’t get me wrong, the voices are there but I’m choosing to have more compassion for myself. I imagine a woman who really wants to do well but the resistance is so overbearing that she just can’t push through the wall. Do I tell this woman, “what’s wrong with you, just stop eating or go for a short run!” No, I wouldn’t say this to a stranger. Do I tell this woman, “Wow you’re hopeless you might as well stop trying.” No, I sure as hell wouldn’t say that either. I would say, “Theresa, this stuff is hard, you’re fucking awesome and maybe it didn’t happen today but you can give it another shot tomorrow.” Yes, Ma'am!
So the stinkin thinkin part is the hardest but in an imperfect way I’ve been kind to myself through this struggle. I’ve had the courage to sign up for races this Spring and I started last Thursday with short 10 minute runs. Today I ramped it up to 17 minutes. I’m going to try again with my eating and do my best to track. I will keep it small and gentle.
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