Day 333

Ugh! So tonight I was really close to skipping my body conditioning class. I made a barbecue chicken pizza for dinner and I decided to chow down on it a couple of hours before class. After I ate I felt like a pig and thought, “what’s the use of going now?” So I asked Ellison to please give me words of encouragement and he did. Then I got an email from my cousin and she told me that she has lost 130 pounds! Then she tells me that she didn’t have words to explain the healing and freedom she’d experienced from loosing weight. It really moved me. So after hearing that, I got my stuffed butt up and took myself to the gym. The class was excruciating and I don’t know what happened but I zoned out for like 15 minutes and from my peripheral I could see the clock and I thought it said there was only 15 minutes left, so I got really happy and motivated. Well, to my dismay, it was only 15 minutes in. I wanted to die! I finished the class and I felt heavy and gross but I finished it.

I decided that I don’t like feeling like a heavy monster during my workouts. It’s not the weight either, it’s what I’m eating that makes workouts that difficult. When my body is being fueled right, I do better. I have another five mile race on Sunday, so from now until then it’s quality whole grains, lean proteins, fruit, and veggies. Tug tug away Talula! Tomorrow I get to workout with my honey!

Day 331

So last week was a really successful week. I was determined to have a loss and I did. I lost one pound and I was really proud of that. I literally planned beginning on Saturday and mentally rehearsed how I wanted my week to look. I didn’t over indulge in my weekly points and I did as much exercise as I could. I also signed up for a five mile race on Thanksgiving day and it went great! I ran the entire time without stopping and I finished in 54 minutes.

The last couple days I’ve been snacking and eating like crap but the good news is, I stopped the beast today. I ate within my points and I busted my tail at my body conditioning class. I know I say this all the time but that class is so damn hard. Every time i’m in that class I have the same thought, ”I hate this effin shit, I’d rather be fat!” Oh but the endorphins after make it worth the pain. Then I think why the hell am I eating like shit when I work so hard at the gym?! I gotta say that I am focused again and it feels good. I am Theresa de la Parsons Sarbeng HEAR ME ROAR!

Day 324

Hi Guys! So usually if I don’t blog it’s because I’m probably eating a lot and sitting on my couch pouting about it. However, I can say that I have been doing fantastic for a couple of weeks now. I’ve been preparing myself for Thanksgiving to be indulgent and yummy and I'm anticipating that I will probably eat 70 points that day. On Saturday I visualized what my week would look like and I've planned ahead for the big feast. Normally I eat most of my weekly points over the weekend but I was very good and only had 10 of my weekly points. I also ran over the weekend so I earned activity points. I am determined to have a Thanksgiving loss, even if it’s .2. I am ending the year strong I say. There are a few goals that will carry on over to 2012 but I’m okay with that. I didn’t make any moves with my acting career, nor did I do any dancing but there is always next year. I’m not going to try and rush and fake an effort. I have been successful with my weight loss and I am going to end the year happy and proud.

Tomorrow I should go running but I have a lot of things to do before the holiday. I’m not sure if I told you all but I’m running a 5 mile race on Thanksgiving. I wanted to do something besides sit and wait for my food coma. I will probably blog again and I will probably say this again but I want to thank every single person who has ever read my blog. It inspires me so much. Every comment fills my heart with happiness and it has kept me going. Thank you, thank you, thank you! My grammar probably offends but hopefully you got a piece of my spirit.

Day 319

Oh you guys today was a doozy! I mean, it was seriously a tough day. I sometimes think I brag a little too much. I mean, I hear it and right after I say it I think, wow that was a little much. I have this need for validation and I’m slowly trying to let it go but it’s a big challenge. However, I’m going to have to say this because I kicked so much ass today, I just can’t keep it in. I’ve had so many behavior victories this week that if I could put myself on a chair and have four of me carry me around with a crown, I would. That’s how proud of myself I am. I am using exercise as my outlet and I’ve been tracking accurately. I ate all my weekly points by Monday but I haven’t given up and I’m back in the positive. Today could’ve been a pizza ordering day where I skipped the gym, then pouted for the rest of night for feeling like a failure. If any night could’ve been the night, it was tonight. I didn’t though, instead I ran in the rain so I could make it to my body conditioning class. Thank you thank you thank you sweet Jesus for being by my side because I didn’t do this without you.

Tomorrow I am taking the day off from exercise. I will continue to track what I eat and I will not reward myself for all the exercise I’ve done this week.

Day 317

Oh lord, lord, lord. I done almost died tonight. This class was so hard that I had to stop quite a few times. I went to body conditioning and it’s been a few weeks since I’ve gone and geez louise it was tough. It seems that everyone has gotten the word about this instructor because the class was packed. Then after class I got on the treadmill and ran a mile. I am so glad that I reinstated my gym membership; it would have been a big mistake to cancel it. Tomorrow I will track what I eat and do some active play with Adjei. Did I mention that I’m ending this year like a champ?

Day 315

I weighed in today and I lost 1.6 pounds. I am very pleased with that because last night I had a nasty snack fest. I probably lost 3 pounds but gained the 1 1/2 overnight. Today in my meeting there were a few girls talking about how the final picture of goal just seemed so far away and it was discouraging to keep going when the weight was coming off so slowly. I remember how that felt because when I first started with WW I was 57 pounds heavier and goal just seemed like it might or might not happen. The way I stay motivated is by setting small goals, hell sometimes daily goals, because those are attainable. My leader then spoke about her four triangles of goals; they were: food goals, activity goals, behavior goals, and support goals. This of course is a new challenge and new challenges excite me. So here are my goals for the week:

Food: Plan my after dinner snack: Tea, apple, and a laughing cow wedge.
Activity: Increase my running goal to 40 minutes 4x a week.
Behavior: Have a cup of tea before I want to snack. I usually do some stress eating late at night and I really want to change that behavior.
Support: Blog

Tomorrow I’m going to run the Williamsburg Bridge. I will also grill a ton of veggies and make something new and yummy. I made a chicken pot pie from scratch today and it totally wow’d Ellison. It was pretty darn good and extremely filling. Now I have to plug in the points. Oy ve! Oh the update on if I went on the run with the running group: no I did not. Maybe next Saturday. One more thing, I’m having my green ginger tea right now.

Day 314

So today i’m going to say that I had a successful day even though my eating was not good. Lets start with what went wrong in the eating category. So this morning was very stressful because Adjei and I woke up at 4:00 a.m. and neither one of us could go back to sleep. The day started poorly and my eating reflected it. I did good by choosing oatmeal for breakfast but then an hour later, I had the leftover white rice from the night before. Now comes the evening where I really screwed up. I was hungry but not really hungry. I only had one point left for the day so anytime I’m left with no points, I want to eat everything. Plus on Friday I feel this need to order pizza because it’s Friday and that’s what I do on Fridays. It’s funny because that’s what my family did growing up. We never went out to eat but we had pizza every Friday, almost like a reward for getting through the week. Well, I’ve carried on this tradition. Tonight I decided not to get pizza and I think I secretly resented that so I snacked a whopping 18 points on nada! Oh well, I’ll move on.

So here’s where my proud moment comes in. I was feeling really stressed and short tempered this morning and I knew the day was going to get worse if I didn’t change it. I decided to take Adjei to they gym and he stayed in the daycare while I ran three miles. I felt great and Adjei’s mood improved too. I’m really proud of this because I’m funny about changing my routine. This week, I completed three great workouts and they were all different from my regular routine. Tomorrow is my weigh in and I still think I will pull in a loss. I only tracked four days this week but I think I did pretty good. I’m thinking of going on a run with the running group I joined. I want to go because the thought of it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I haven’t gone yet because new groups make me uncomfortable. So we’ll see.

Day 312

I’m determined to end this year with a bang and so far I’m doing pretty darn good. I went to the gym tonight and I ran three miles. It was really tough because I was so tired and it’s hard to go to the gym after 7:30; who has the motivation for that? After just five minutes of running I was ready to stop but I kept telling myself to push through. Then after 15 minutes, I wanted to stop again but I kept going. I ended up doing three miles in thirty minutes. I’m really proud of myself. My eating has been good. I want a loss this week. Tomorrow I will do some work on my arms at home and I will track what I eat.

Day 310

Today was a very successful day. I am off the merry go round and I am moving! I am ready to move forward with more weight loss. I feel really good and I’m paying attention to my choices. Not just food choice but also my habits. Tonight I had a small dinner that totally satisfied me but I wanted to eat some leftover pizza we had. I even went as far as heating the pizza up but instead I saved it for Ellison.

Ellison had to work late tonight so I wasn’t able to go to my amazing body conditioning class. I was sad about it because for the first time in a long time, I was motivated to kick some tail. I was going to bag the gym but then I thought that I really needed to push through this habit of not working out when any little obstacle comes my way. So I decided to go to the gym and run. When Ellison came home I greeted him with a big smile, kiss, and hug. He apologized because he know’s how much I love my body conditioning class and I said “no problem, I’ll go run.” Hello, this is not Theresa. Well it is now and I went to the gym and I ran three miles. I was determined to run 3 miles because last week I was running two miles and I wanted to step up my training. So I’m running on the treadmill and at mile two I really want to stop and walk but I keep telling myself “push through” and I did. So now I’m a sweaty mess and I feel fantastic. Tomorrow I will track what I eat and have a chill day with Adjei. Oh I almost forgot, I called today and had my gym membership reinstated. I realized I was kidding myself for thinking I would exercise on my own. I need the gym.

Day 309

So I’ve been so lazy with my blogging. Sorry! My blog is usually the last thing I do before I go to bed and I’ve just been unmotivated to push through the tiredness. My Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday was really inspiring. We were talking about pushing through pain or discomfort. My leader was saying that she doesn’t want us to be comfortable. I agree with her because if I’m comfortable, it’s usually because I’m not working on myself. Improving yourself takes work and it’s not easy. Every time I have a good workout, there’s always that moment when I want to say “F this, I’d rather be fat!” However, when I push through the pain, the feeling after is amazing. It’s the same with pushing past a craving. If you think about it, the urge or craving is usually just a moment. So think about that when you want to quit a workout or eat something that will make you feel bad, push through!

I had a fantastic eating day today. Last night Ellison and I had a date night and we went to this amazing barbecue place called Fette Sau. It was good but it’s been so long since I’ve had really fattening food that I felt nauseous afterwards. I didn’t feel full because I didn’t overeat but it was a lot of fat. I even had nightmares about my arteries clogging. I know, very dramatic. Well the good news is I was determined to eat healthy today and I did. Only 31 points! I feel totally ready to get off this cycle of half ass. I am saying this confidentially “I am ready to lose more weight and put my best foot forward!” I think we have to stay on this circle for awhile before we’re ready to move forward. Tomorrow I will eat healthy and mindfully and I will also get some exercise in. I will also continue to track. I want to look forward to my weigh in on Saturday!

Day 305

So I finally did my run. Woo Hoo! I was really close to not going to the gym. I did not want to leave because Adjei was crying and I wasn’t really motivated anyway but I kept repeating my mantra, “you’re a better wife and mommy when you take care of yourself.” I went to the gym with the intention of taking a body conditioning class but my regular girl wasn’t there and I didn’t feel like risking an hour on someone new. So I got on the treadmill and I ran for 20 minutes. I did a little over 2 miles and it was tough. My eating was the best its been in a few weeks, only 31 points. Today was a good day. Tomorrow I don’t have any exercise planned but I will track what I eat. I told Adjei that he and I have a race in a month that we need to get ready for. He gets so excited, so tomorrow I will probably do some “training” with him.

Day 304

I’m disappointed to say that I did not go running. However, I did track my meals today. I didn’t go over 40 points so that should count for something, right? I posted a recent picture on Facebook and I have to say that all the comments made me feel so good. You know when you have a goal weight in mind, you don’t always see how far you’ve come. I’m glad I posted that picture because it gave me motivation to keep losing. I’m looking pretty darn good! This past weekend I was able to buy knee high boots that zip. I wore them with leggings and that was my dream outfit for the winter. So this little chugger is going to keep on chugging. Tomorrow I will either run or go to body conditioning. I will also track what I eat and look at old trackers to see what I was eating. I was smart enough to save really successful weeks.