Day 365!

This has been such an amazing year! I experienced being a stay at home mommy with my beautiful son. I lost 40 pounds. I ran three 5k races and one 5 mile race. Exercise is now a real part of my life. I’m ending this year with so much gratitude. I’m grateful for stepping out of fear and starting this blog. I’m grateful for my follow through girls who went on this crazy journey with me. I’m grateful that I love to exercise. I’m grateful for the trials I’ve experienced this year. I am so grateful. I started this year so determined to make this year different and to accomplish all the goals I set. I felt like if I accomplished these goals it would make me happy and settled. The truth is, since going through this journey I’ve come to slowly realize that it isn’t any particular “accomplishment” that is going to bring me happiness. Breaking down the walls I’ve built and focusing on a deeper relationship with God will.

2012 is going to be another fabulous year and my goals are the following:

Lose 35 pounds
Run a 10k
Get healthier mind, body, and spirit.
Yoga
Write everyday even if I don’t post it to my blog. Writing has been one of the most powerful tools I’ve discovered. I’m in love.

Thank you all for reading my blog and I wish you all peace and happiness in 2012!

Day 361

So I didn’t track or measure but I did so much better than I have in weeks. I went to an afternoon body conditioning class with my favorite instructor and it was great. I also ate really healthy today. I haven’t tracked and I chose to blog instead of back tracking because after this I’m going to bed. I’m craving sugar like crazy and I have half of a chocolate cake in my freezer that’s calling my name. I’m trying to save it for my brother in law, who’s visiting this weekend, but good lord it’s tempting. I also have chocolate morsels in the freezer that I should throw out because in a moment of weakness, I will eat those bad boys by the handful. I am determined to enter 2012 feeling really great. I know I’m not going to drop four pounds in a few days but I want to enter the New Year with momentum. My goal for this week is to have four good workouts before the end of the year and to not have any sugar binges.

Day 359

I had to blog tonight because I’m out of control with my eating. I know, I know it’s the holidays but that’s no excuse to eat the way I’ve been eating. I feel like shit. Yes, I’ve enjoyed the junk but not enough to validate how crummy it makes me feel. I only exercised once last week so I need to start again. Tomorrow the tree is coming down and the sugar is going out. I’ve already thrown away some yummy cheese that I was snacking on all day. I care about how I look but I care more about how I feel. If I was eating healthy and exercising and my body now was the best it could get, I would be fine with that. However, I am not eating healthy and I am not exercising. I need consistency again. I haven’t been consistent in a few months. Thank God for a New Year because it’s a new start to do better. I don’t think anyone should give up on resolutions. Who cares if you don’t keep them 100%, if you get to 50% that’s better than where you were, right? Tomorrow I’m going to be really mindful about my points, measuring, and tracking. I will also do a good workout. I love how I feel when I’m taking care of myself.

Day 355

Hi Guys, I’m so glad to be talking to you all right now. It’s been a week or so and I haven’t blogged because I’ve been isolating myself from the world. My eating is out of whack, my exercise has been minimal, and I’ve been obsessing about the possible obstacles of every aspect of my life. Fa la la la la! With all that said, I’m feeling really grateful. This year has been such a blessing, a complete blessing. First I thought it was my weight that was making me miserable, so I did something about it. Then I thought it was my job, so I did something about that. Now I’m realizing that is was none of those things and there is some work I need to do on myself. I feel scared, brave, excited, and scared. I give all my doubts to God and it feels so good to let go of fear, at least for this moment.

I have to get back to taking care of myself. I am extremely excited for 2012 because I feel free; my life is no longer in my hands. I will do the work but then I will let it go and give it to God. If I forget this, please gently remind me. Tomorrow I will track what I eat and I will also go for a light run or body conditioning.

Day 345

Hi guys! I know my follow through girls are thinking wow, another blog?! Well I haven’t blogged in so long and I feel so neglectful. I’ve been quite busy and dealing with some challenges that I’m getting through. Can you believe there are only 20 days left in the year?! Holy crap! When I started this blog, I just knew this year had to be different. I was making a very good living at a pretty fantastic company but I was only seeing my son two hours a day. Now I’m part of a play school with amazing mommies and I’ve gotten to see my son grow in so many ways. I was over 200 pounds, hating my body and now I’m 170 pounds and taking pictures of my belly and showing it to friends. Wha?! I started exercising by walking up the stairs to work and jogging/walking a mile; Now I run five miles and I look forward to a killer body conditioning class. Who Dis?! Finally, I was always afraid to write this blog because I thought I would be made fun of, silly I know, but now I have the most amazing network of friends that live all around the country. Hell, my Bindy boo reads my blog in New Zealand. I am so blessed and it was all because I stepped out of fear and told myself, this year was going to be different. I am not going to fear change, even if it’s change I don’t want. I will embrace it and ride the journey with faith. Thank you all for reading my blog. You’ve kept me going with all your support. Thank you so much!

Oh update--Was down 1.5 pounds at WW. Did a Barry's Bootcamp with some friends and we all kicked some tail. Was introduced to Yoga by my dear friend Kim this past weekend and I LOVED it. I think I've found a new passion.

Day 338

I had a difficult day. I was having anxiety about everything. I was having one of those panic attack about life days and it got really overwhelming. Then it turned into a “i’m not doing enough, I’m not enough, pity party. So I ended up eating 48 points at lunch. I was proud that I tracked every single bite but very disappointed in myself. I went to my body conditioning class this evening and it was so hard, I wanted to give up. I really had a moment when I was just so tired of trying to lose weight. I felt like I wasn’t going to get to my goal. I know people looking from the outside in think, “Theresa is running all these races, she looks great,” but I still have moments when I’m so afraid to try at everything. Today was one of those days. I am proud that I didn’t overeat at dinner and I did finish the class. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be a great one.

Day 336

Hi guys! I am so incredibly tired tonight that I will probably hit the sack as soon as I finish my blog. I had a really great day. I started the morning off with a three mile run with a friend and I’ve tracked everything I’ve had to eat today. I changed my settings on my e-tools to pull from my activity points before it pulls from my weekly. I’m going to try and earn more food by moving more. I wanted to lose ten pounds this month and then I thought that was silly because that’s the thinking that always sabotages me. The real way to lose weight is to change bad eating habits and to exercise. When you focus on it being a life change, the weight will come off. The goal is not perfection; it’s about how soon you rebound after a fumble. Tomorrow I have another race. This is the five mile race I was actually training for. It’s a very meaningful race because it’s for brain cancer. It’s going to be a busy day. I met this older lady in my meeting and the poor thing doesn’t know how to use e-tools, so I’m going over tomorrow to show her how to use it. I absolutely love older New Yorkers, it’s a treat to spend time with them. I love elderly people in general. I encourage you to talk to the elderly as much as possible because a lot of times they’re lonely and can use some conversation. LOVE LOVE and MORE LOVE! Tomorrow I will run my race the best I can. I will track what I eat. I will spend some time teaching a nice lady how to use the WW e-tools.