Day 242

Today was a really great day with eating and exercise. I tracked for the first time in weeks, probably months. I ate 34 points which is pretty darn good. I would love a day where I only eat 29 points. I’m not going to get cocky because I am certainly still battling bad habits. Tomorrow I will go for a short run and I will continue to track what I eat. My Papa arrives tomorrow and I am so excited. Papa is doing WW too and he’s lost 35 pounds this year. We’re running the Run to Remember 5k this weekend. I’m also going to take him to my WW meeting so he can experience one in NYC. It’s going to be a fantastic weekend.

Day 241

Today was one of those days where I could’ve of just cried and sat in my house and watched every stupid daytime talk show. I am so tired to give all the details of my day but it was really trying. I am proud of myself because I pushed through and I was extremely productive and positive. My eating was surprisingly great until I put Adjei to sleep. Then I just ate a bit of junk. I really need to stock up with chicken, fish, veggies, and fruit. I do really well when my fridge is stocked with healthy options. I’ve also eaten all the junk in the house so there’s nothing left to tempt me. Tomorrow I am going to really focus on tracking. I also have body conditioning so that will get me focused too.

Day 240

So it's been five days since I've written and I swear it felt like everthing I was trying to do was falling apart. It's amazing how much power we give to fear. Well I've missed you all and It’s been way too long since we last spoke. There were a few reasons for my absence. To name a few: my mac is still broken and I hate writing on this mini something, I feel really unmotivated with anything that’s good for me because change freaks me out, and the hurricane. Irene gave me just the excuse I needed to avoid talking about how I was struggling and to stuff my face in the meantime. I hardly exercised last week; I only went to the gym once. I didn’t track one bite and I ate things that I don’t normally eat nor crave like Kit Kat bars. Not to sound like a snob but I don’t even really enjoy American chocolate that much anymore. However, I was reminded that eating junk and not exercising makes me into an angry woman. I don’t like being angry, I like being happy, positive Theresa.

Today was much better. I ate better than yesterday and I busted my tail at body conditioning. I told the instructor that I needed a picture of her. I want to make it into a button or keychain so every time I want to stuff my face, I can remember how hard I worked. She looked at me a little bit like I was crazy so I don't think she's going to give me one and now I feel weird for trying to sneak a pic with my phone. If you have any ideas for something I can physically hold to remind me of the pain of exercise, I am all ears.

So I am committed to action. I am committed to moving forward with my goals, eating healthy, and exercising because it only makes me stronger. When I am not right mind, body, and spirit everything is harder.

Day 235

Today was an extremely exhausting day and I didn’t do well with eating or exercise. I wasn’t going to write because I’m so tired and worn out and I don’t have anything inspiring to say. I’ve been feeling anxious and scared lately about the future and it’s effecting how I take care of myself. Tomorrow is a new day and I will go for a short run and I will make better eating choices.

Day 234

There is so much power in action, even the littlest steps. This morning I dragged my butt until the last minute before I went for the short run I promised myself I would go on. I even made Ellison and Adjei breakfast, which I don’t usually do for Ellison on a weekday. I was in my running clothes but again, I was not feeling it. I finally decided to go and I jogged for 11 minutes. It was probably maybe a mile. I came home and I immediately had a burst of energy and I felt so proud that I followed through with the small goal I set for the day. So for the first half of my day I was eating really healthy.
Now to my eating for the evening. Like I said, the first few meals of the day were great. Then I went to check out a few preschools and I really liked one but it was very expensive. I started to feel anxious and doubtful about the next few months. I'm acting purely on faith and that is really difficult to do. I know nothing is guaranteed but living in a financial situation where, really, there is no guarantee is really scary. I decided that all I can do is live fully with faith and keep on movin forward. So with all that said, I tried to be good for dinner and I wasn’t. I had two hotdogs and two smores. Not the worst thing I could’ve done but I have plenty of healthier options in my fridge.
Tomorrow is a new day. I will try again with my eating and I will track the full day, even if it’s painful. However, it won’t be painful because if I feel anxious or doubtful I will call people who love me. Or I will pray for someone who is in more need than me. This quote was posted at one of the preschools. Enjoy!
Quote of the Day:
He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day 233

I am such a beast. I mean, really, I am one strong cookie. Tonight’s body conditioning class was so extremely hard. I was sweating so much that I couldn’t even do burpies because I kept slipping from the sweat dripping down my arms and the sweat on the floor. I am not exaggerating either. For a minute there I thought to myself that I never wanted to go to that class again. It was damn brutal but boy do I feel like a killer machine right now.
My eating was decent but I haven’t really tracked, so I’m not sure how good I did. When I don’t have a day with mostly vegetables, I don’t feel so good about my eating. I did have a behavior change that I’m proud of and it is:
1. Bought cookies for Adjei and had 1 cookie. I opened the bag to get a second and I said to me “No, you had enough.”

Tomorrow I’m going for a short run and I will really track what I eat.

Day 232

Oh the joys of parenthood. Today I got my pay back for using all my dad’s old albums as dj scratch albums. My son grabbed my laptop and started running with it and dropped it. Now it won’t work and I am extremely upset about it. This laptop has everything on it and I’m just praying that the hard drive is okay. I’m still extremely pissed about it.
I made really healthy smoothies this morning and they came out pretty good. I added ½ cup fat free greek yogurt, 2 stalks celery, 1 fuji apple, 1 cup spinach, ½ cup of frozen strawberries, and ½ cup of apple juice. I made it for my son because he won’t eat vegetables and he had some of it but then he said it was gross. I loved it. The behaviors I’m most proud of:
1. Healthy breakfast.
2. Passing up grabbing a slice of pizza.

Tomorrow I will be going to body conditioning and hopefully I will have time to get my mac fixed. I will also track what I eat.

Day 231

Today was a fantastic day. I had a spa day with my girlfriends at a place called Spa Castle. This place has three different floors with just about everything you need to relax. It has a room dedicated to saunas, hot tubs, napping areas, and the roof is an outdoor pool area. There is also a swim bar and plenty of food stations. It’s huge! My girlfriends and I spent most of the time on the roof just talking, laughing, and soaking up the sun. It was wonderful and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Who would’ve thought that lounging all day would make you this tired. This gal is pooped! I made some great choices today.

1. We stopped at Duncan Donuts and I wanted to get two donuts, strawberry and boston cream, but instead I had an egg white sandwich.
2. Only had one alcoholic beverage.
3. Had fruit, salmon, and vegetables for lunch when I wanted a cheeseburger and french fries.
4. Did not indulge in ice cream, even though I wanted to.
5. Did a few exercises while I was in the pool.

Tomorrow I’m going for a run because my heel is feeling much better. I need to step up my exercise routine and stick to it. I’m feeling so good that I just really want to kick it up a notch. I will also start with tracking my meals.

Day 229

Busy busy day. Adjei and I had a play date with some new friends and he had a wonderful time. It’s also a bonus when you click with the other mommy. My eating was good until this evening, when I decided to have two frozen waffles as a snack. It’s not terrible but I had already had dinner. I didn’t go running or walking this morning because I’m lazy. Not nice but it’s true. I can’t wake up early enough to go. I just want to be perfect. Why can’t I be perfect with the exercise and eating? Okay, I’m really worn out; this blog is about to turn into a lot of nonsense if I continue to write. Tomorrow I’m hitting the gym and I will track what I eat.

Day 228

Today was spectacular! I took my boo bear to the beach and we had a blast. Adjei was so well behaved and the weather was a dream. We sat on the beach close to the water making railroads, as the waves came close enough to cover our legs, making us scream. It was special.

My eating was fantabulous. I’ve been craving olives and tomatoes a lot lately. I think it's me reminiscing about Miami. I also went to body conditioning and I hadn’t been in three weeks. The instructor kicked my tail something fierce. My legs started to feel so weak. I love waking up in the morning when I’ve had a good eating day and a hard workout. I will definitely feel a difference in my body tomorrow. I haven’t gone running because my foot has been bothering me. Tomorrow I will go for a walk and maybe do some mild jogging. I will also track what I eat.

Day 227

I went to check out a daycare for Adjei today and I liked it but it’s expensive for part time. I have to make a decision by tomorrow and my gut is telling me it’s too much money. I'm disappointed because I feel like I don't have many options. I love my little boo bear and like all parents, I want the very best for him.

My eating was plentiful and I know it’s because I’m feeling anxious about the future. I need to just relax and believe that everything is as it should be. I’m excited for body conditioning tomorrow because I know it will take some of this worry away. I also need a really intense workout to put me back on track with my eating. This is so off the subject but MacGruber is damn hilarious. I can't take it! I want to share my new breakfast with all of you. It's so filling and I have so much energy after.

My new breakfast is:
½ cup of fat free Greek yogurt
1 cup of blueberries (I buy frozen and unsweetened)
½ cup organic bran flakes

Day 226

Today was a really productive day. My eating was great and I feel like I have my stride back. I haven't had a loss in almost two months but I haven't gained either. I'm playing the up 1, down 1 game. This week is going to be a big loss because I am focused!

I have an appointment to look at a daycare tomorrow. It’s a really good daycare that I tried to get Adjei into last year but there was a two-year wait list. They have a part time opening and this just may work even better. I keep telling Adjei he is going to school and he is so excited. I feel really good about things.

I didn’t go to body conditioning tonight because my friend informed me that there was a sub that wasn’t very good. I wasn’t going to do any exercise but I went out for a nice long walk. I walked for over an hour. It felt like nothing because I talked on the phone the whole time and people watched. Tomorrow I will go running if my heal feels better. I need new running shoes because my feet have been so soar. I think E-Berg is tired of rubbing them. I will also continue to track what I eat.

Day 224

I love days like today. I worked my tail feather at Zumba, so much that I swear the instructor was challenging me to a dance off. It was pretty freakin awesome. I’m having so much fun in Zumba because I just don’t care what I look like. My eating was fantastic. I resisted my nightly chocolate craving and had frozen peaches instead. I also worked on my management company with my partner. We did some great work on our cover letter and proposal. Today was very productive.

I’ve been feeling anxious lately and I haven’t shared it because I haven’t been ready to face it. A new transition is going to happen and I am scared and doubtful. I’m about to put my boo bear back in daycare so I can start working again. My fears of a shaky economy and the uncertainty of an acting career started to feel overwhelming. I also started to think it would be great to be part of a company again and make a decent living. I thought I could pay off debt, get good health coverage, and save for a bigger home. I started to plan everything but getting my headshots and pursuing what I set off to do at the beginning of the year. The truth is I am so scared to pursue something that is uncertain. All the what if’s came back and I just want to go where it’s safe. I had a long talk with my hubby and he reminded me that everything I’ve done that scared me was hard and I always had doubts, but it propelled me to great outcomes.

So the conclusion is to finish the following so I can follow through with the acting goal:

1. Find a daycare or better a pre-school
2. Update business resume
3. Update acting resume
4. Get Headshots

Day 223

I can’t wait for my WW meeting tomorrow. I feel so ready for a new start. I’m also going to Zumba because I need a fun workout to give me some momentum. I can move forward with my goals. I am strong, confident, and brave.

Day 222

I’m seriously like a thirteen-year-old girl when I watch So You Think You Can Dance. I cry when I watch these dancers and I feel incredibly inspired. My dear old husband loves to kill my moments. I’m so envious of dancers because they can tell an entire story with just their bodies. You can feel the emotion of the dance without any words and I just love that. I really need to start going out with E berg and enjoying the art that is offered in the city. I’m art deprived. I need theatre, dance, music, film, paintings, anything!

Okay back to weight, food, exercise, and career. Blah blah blah and Blah! My eating is so damn off that I hate even mentioning it. I feel like I’m losing this battle and I’m having a hard time gaining control over it. I didn’t go running tonight because my hubby had to work too late. I should’ve gone in the morning but I didn’t wake up. So I’m not happy with that either. The one good thing that happened tonight is my son tells me “Mommy, don’t go exercise,” and said “okay lovey”, and then he says “and don’t go running.” I thought it was the coolest thing that he knows every time I leave I’m going to go workout. It just made me feel good that he is sees me as an active person and not a couch potato.

Tomorrow I will go running in the morning. I will also plan an activity between the hours of 4-6 because that’s my trigger period. It’s after Adjei’s nap and I usually give him and me a snack.

Day 221

Blogger was down last night but I saved my post.


This is really off the topic of my blog but Katie Holmes is really embarrassing on So You Think You Can Dance. What is this girl talking about? Okay back to me. My eating was crap and I know I shouldn’t, but I blame Ellison. He bought like four different types of cheeses and I just can’t control myself with cheese. I made myself a grilled cheese for dinner with at least 4oz of cheese. I’m gross. I feel a new change coming on and I know that’s why food is becoming a challenge again. Thank God I’m still exercising. Tomorrow I will go running and I will run at least two miles. I will also start again with tracking and planning my meals.

Day 220

So today was good. Although I didn’t track, my food choices were decent. I was really close to not going for a run but I was determined to get it done. I knew it would set the tone for the rest of the week. I was only able to run a mile and a half but my goal was a mile so I’m satisfied. Tomorrow I really need to track what I eat and get into the WW state of mind. This program really works for me when I’m practicing it. So there are few behavior changes I made today that I’m proud of.

1. Did not continue my vacation state of mind of eating whatever I wanted.
2. Went out for a run even though it was late and I had planned to go earlier.

Yay me!

Day 219

Hi Friends! Good lord this woman is pooped! I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve a weekend like this but it was truly privileged. I went with Carmela, the fiancé of Ellison’s BFF. Before she invited me we’d only met a couple of times but it was love at first sight. She and I had so much in common, we joked that we were like sissy’s. Well this little sweetheart invited me to her annual girlfriend trip to Miami. We stayed at the Ritz Carlton in South Beach and we were treated like royalty. I got a massage by this incredible gentlemen with a French accent that pretty much took to me to the moon and back. This was by far the best massage I’ve ever received. I’m willing to fly back to Miami just for the massage. I partied and laughed so hard. This was just truly a magical weekend. Did I mention it cost us almost nothing?! Eek! Okay, stop me if I’m bragging too much. Like I said, what did I do to deserve this?

Now back to reality and definitely back to getting this figure right. I really felt great about my body in Miami. I wore dresses every night and I didn’t feel self conscious in my bathing suit at all. Tomorrow my goals are to get focused and back into my routine. I will also start up my 5k training. I will commit to one mile tomorrow because there are quite a bit of toxins in this temple.

Day 215

I didn’t go running today, boo me. I went to bed late last night and I couldn’t wake up this morning. I don’t feel too bad because right now I’m in vacation mode. I am ready to be in Miami. I’m excited to eat, drink, dance, and bond with some new friends. I don’t think I’m going to blog because I really don’t want to think about anything but having fun. I’m not even going to take my laptop. I’m kind of going back and forth on if I should take my running shoes. I want to but I don’t want those dirty shoes on my pretty clothes. My hubby is so amazing and he worked really hard so I could go on this trip. Thanks Lovey, I see a Hangover Vegas trip in your future soon. So friends, I probably won’t talk to you until Monday. Have a wonderful weekend!

Day 214

Not much to report today. I didn’t go running because I’ve decided to follow a training schedule I found on Runners World. Thanks Melanie! So I rested today and I have to say it was nice to choose to take a day off from exercising. Tomorrow I will run two miles.

My eating today was good I think. I didn’t track but I ate like I would on a good day. Tonight I was shopping for my trip to Miami and I really wanted to get a slice of pizza but instead I came home and made a salad. I said no to a lot things today: cookies, Ritter Sport (favorite chocolate bar), pizza, and diet coke. I had all of these cravings but I didn’t have any of it. Yay me!

Day 213

Done, Done, and Almost. I got up and went running this morning and it felt great. My goal was to run a mile but I ran two. When I get up and go running it motivates me the entire day. I finished the task I needed to get done for my business and I also grilled vegetables for the rest of the week.

I signed up for The Run to Remember 5k. It’s a run dedicated to the memory of 9/11. This race means a lot to me because I remember that day so vividly and it was horrible. Since this is the 10th anniversary I really want to be part of something positive for the victims, first responders, family members, and NYC. I want to do my very best so I am going to train properly for it. Tomorrow I will go running again and since I know I can run two miles that is now the minimum. I will also try to do a better job with my eating. I was fine except for late afternoon. I still can’t shake my sweet tooth. I was better today because I had fruit but I need to do better.

Day 212

So its nights like this that I want to go to sleep and not write. I have reached my seven-year itch so to speak with this process. I am bored with WW and I’m bored with exercise. I feel pressure to start working again and I feel like I’m falling short with the projects I already have going. I know what I need to do. This is what needs to happen. I need to finish up some tasks for my management company. I need to train consistently for my next 5k in a month. I need to track what I eat so I’m accountable. Last but the most important, I need to make my prayer life number one.

Tomorrow I am going running. I will run just one mile to get the juices going. If I feel the urge to keep going, I will. I will also track what I eat and I will NOT go over my daily points. I was looking at a video blog I did when I first started trying to lose weight. Ellison was like “Wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight!” I actually saw it too. So I can’t revert back now, I’ve worked too hard.