Day 269

Pooped de Pooped! Na na na na Pooped de Pooped! I’m singing this but i’m so tired I can’t remember the television show I stole the melody from. It’s going to drive me crazy but Ellison will know when I sing it to him when he gets home. Some good things happened today. I went to my favorite gourmet food store Zabars and got some of my favorite coffee. I started to get really grumpy because they have incredible, I mean incredible bread and baked goods and I wanted so much to buy chocolate babka, rosemary bread, rugelach, croissants, bagels...everything!! Okay the good thing that happened is I left with just the coffee. I’ve also adjusted my workout schedule to make my life easier and my conscious less guilty. Instead of trying to work out five times a week, I’m only going to commit to three times a week. The other days I can walk or play or ride my bike leisurely. I am focusing on my eating and career. Tomorrow I will track what I eat and go to body conditioning.

Day 268

I went to body conditioning and I am so proud of myself. Tonight I really, REALLY didn’t want to go. My little boo bear was saying “please mommy don’t go to the play gym.” So I lied to him and told him I was just taking the trash down and his little face says “you’re just going to do laundry, you’re coming right back?” I mean I just wanted so badly to stay or take him for a walk but I forced myself to go. I was even on the platform of the subway and I was seconds from walking back home. I kept telling myself “Theresa, you’re a better mother when you take care of yourself.” It was tough. Class was really just so damn hard too that I was struggling. I got through it and when I got home Adjei was peacefully sleeping.

My eating is getting a little better. I made the WW three bean chili and it came out really good. I also bought some healthy staples that will get me through the week. Now I need to stick to my commitment to tracking. I always have intentions of tracking but then I get so busy and I forget; I need to keep a notebook or take a picture of what I eat so I can track later. Tomorrow I will plan my meals and track what I eat. I will also enjoy my time with my family and live in a happy place. Thank you lord for the grace you’ve given me. I feel so positive and happy lately and I just want to share it with the world. One more thing. Did you all catch Terra Nova?! Love it. Oh one more thing...I’m on a Queen kick tonight; they seriously light my fire.

Day 267

So you guys I can’t believe how hard I’ve worked today. I have shifted from exercise and eating being my focus, to focusing more on relationships and my career. I can be very tunnel vision so I’m okay with that. Today I tweaked my resume because I’m hoping to find a very flexible job. I feel really positive that something fantastic will come my way. I also worked on a school project for Adjei’s play school. I was so blessed to hook up with some amazing moms and we started our own pre-school for our kids two days a week and tomorrow is my lesson. I’m doing an exercise on feelings and of course I want to do some dramatic play. One more thing. I prayed so much this weekend because instead of going to the gym I walked a LOT. It was so nice. Tomorrow is going to be very busy but I will handle it all with grace. I will also track what I eat and bust a tail feather at body conditioning.

Day 266

Today was a really amazing day and confirmation that all the choices I’ve made this year and my entire life, good and bad, have lead to a lot of happiness. I went to WW today and I stayed the same weight, which was a great accomplishment because we all know I’ve been eating my feelings. My leader, who by the way is hosting with Dr. Oz on Monday, was on fire today. This woman (Liz) is just a really incredible woman. She shared something personal with us today. She told us that when one of her best friends died of Leukemia she decided she wasn’t going to live another day doing things she didn’t like. So she left her job and became a WW leader and now a prominant figure with the WW brand.

After WW I usually go to my Zumba class but there was a sub, who I really don’t like, so I decided to walk home to Brooklyn and call as many people as I love. I spoke to my mom, two brothers, my cousin Karen and my cousin Kate. I have an incredible story about how powerful our words are. I actually have many but I will share one that blew my mind today. My cousin Kate is also an actress and she moved to Brooklyn two years ago. Last year we spent Thanksgiving together and she told me “Theresa I’m going to be on Boardwalk Empire.” She hadn’t been cast but she said she was going to get on that show and I believed her. Well fast forward to today and she and I are catching up and I’m apologizing for missing her show last weekend and she tells me not to worry because there will be much more (I love her assurance). So then I tell her (to confirm my belief in what she told me a year ago) that I will probably be seeing her on Boardwalk anyway. Then she starts talking about the show and I will probably see a lot more of her blah blah blah; I don’t understand fully what she’s talking about and then it occurs to me that she is ON BOARDWALK. So I ask her “Kate did you get on Boardwalk Empire?” And she says “Oh my god, I didn’t tell you?!” My cousin is going to be on Boardwalk Empire and I couldn’t be more proud of her. So the moral of this story is our words are really powerful and what we say we are going to do can happen. It may not be tomorrow, or next year, but it can happen. So I beg you to think and speak positive because life is so awesome.

Day 265

Today was great day. There is a lot of uncertainty with the economy and I’m certainly feeling it in my household but I’m not going to let it deter me from my goals. I’ve been enjoying my family more than ever and I feel extremely optimistic for the future. I tracked half of my day but I will do even better tomorrow. I didn’t go for my run but I will go to Zumba tomorrow. Tomorrow is also my weight watchers meeting and I’m really looking forward to it; the meetings always motivates me. Can you believe there are only 100 days left of 2011?! What a fantastic year!

Day 264

Today was a great day. It’s my boo bear’s birthday and I'm just filled with so much gratitude. Although, there are some challenges going on in my life, I’m forcing myself to stay positive. I’ve been humbled lately with my finances but I feel excited to simplify my life. My eating is awful. It’s really bad but I know how to make it better and I’m the only one who can control what I put in my mouth. I need to get back on track because I’m in the state where I don’t care and I get comfort from eating whatever I want without remorse. This is not a good place for me to be because it will hurt me in the long run. I’ve also only exercised once this week and again I took comfort in choosing not to work out. I can’t give up on my goals. I have to stay focused and just work harder. Tomorrow I will go for a 30 minute walk/run and I will track what I eat.

Day 263

So it’s hard to believe that three years ago tonight I was in labor with my precious little boy. At this time three years ago I was sitting on my birthing ball in my house enduring some serious pain. Ellison was rubbing my back and I was trying to watch a movie but I could barely concentrate. By this time I had been having early labor pains since 6 o’clock in the morning. I believe I called my doctor at around 10:00 p.m. because I was having contractions every six minutes, lasting almost a full minute, for a full hour. He asked me if I felt I needed to come into the hospital and I told him I could probably go another few hours at home. At about 1:00 a.m. the pain was really intense so I asked Ellison to take me to the hospital. We rented a car for two weeks, so luckily we had a car. I remember driving through the Midtown tunnel thinking how I just needed to make it to the hospital so I could get drugs. When we got to the hospital we had to park in a parking garage and I could barely walk. Then we go through the emergency entrance and there is another woman in labor and she’s screaming. They run and get her a wheelchair but I’m still walking. It was weird but as soon as I walked into the hospital I didn’t feel any pain anymore. So we go to the maternity ward and there is just me and the other girl. I check in and the girl looks at me like “oh first time mom, she’s probably going to be sent home.” During this time this other girl is screaming and totally freaking me out. So even though I was first they took her in. Again, I’m still not feeling any pain. I finally get called to be checked and I’m swearing to the doctor on duty that I was feeling contractions every 5-6 minutes, for a full hour, for one full minute! She checks me and I see her counting to the sky...1, 2, 3, 4. “You’re four centimeters, we’re checking you in.” I was soooo happy!!! One of my biggest fears was that I would be too afraid to deliver a baby and that I just wouldn’t be able to do it. Well I have never been happier in my life. I didn’t even care that this woman was practically fisting me. A nurse came in and asked me if I wanted an epidural and I was very chipper and said “no, I’m actually fine!” Wrong! Literally after I said no, the pain just came right the hell back. Then all the nurses are nowhere to be found and the anesthesiologist is “coming” but never comes. Well seven centimeters later and a lot of screaming, “You’re trying to make me have this baby NATURAL!” I got my epidural. Fast forward to 12:59 p.m., September 22nd 2008 my little soul mate was born. My beautiful, feisty, confident, fast, smart, stubborn little boy was born. Thank you Jesus! He is the reason I breath and I am so blessed that I get to be his mommy.

I will work really hard to stay positive and I will work really hard to take care of myself because I know the best gift I can give him is a happy mommy. I love you Adjei!