Day 203

I am really inspired to let you all in on my weight watchers meeting today. I gained a pound this week and I was really bummed. I haven’t lost any weight in over a month and this week I gained .8. It’s such a small number considering I’ve lost 52 pounds, but my self-hating brain is focusing on the .8. I mentioned that I was really frustrated with myself, not the program, because I know the program works but I wasn’t living out the plan. I was right back to my old habits of kind of tracking, rewarding myself with food, comforting myself with food, and doing the start again tomorrow routine. Our meeting ironically was about attitude and how huge that was with reaching our goals. My leader said something to me that just made me feel great. She said, “maybe right now you just need to tread in this water, maybe you just need to be there until you are ready to move forward.” This was pretty stinkin awesome because she’s exactly right. Every single moment, even the ones when we feel like we’re doing nothing, serve a purpose. Our attitude in times of struggle is what’s going to drive us forward or drive us backward. I also started to think about how useless negative self-talk was. It’s totally useless. It serves no purpose. So next time you want to say something mean about yourself, tell yourself that it is not helpful, nor is it true.

So today I went to Zumba and I danced like a crazy woman. I danced like an old lady who was given a second chance at life, and it was great. In fact, this 60+ and me started to do some Reggae moves together. I just decided that I was going to have a lot of fun. I love it when I can unleash the beast. I am going to focus on gratitude, gratitude, and gratitude. Because God knows I am so very blessed. I send positive loving thoughts to the mothers and fathers in Somalia trying to feed their babies.