Behind the Starting Line

I’m sitting in front of my computer and I really want to go to sleep.  This is usually how I feel when I want to do something good for myself.  I’m writing this blog as a first step towards many steps towards the person I know I am.  I can get there but it’s so un-motivating when you’re standing behind the first step.  I feel scared. I feel scattered brain.  I hear and see all the nasty voices that say, “Theresa you need to lose weight first.” That’s always been my first Saboteur.  “You can’t do shit Theresa unless you’re thinner.”  Big fat lie but right now that’s a loud one.  The second voice is, “Theresa you’re not that great of a writer and you don’t even follow your own advice, why is anyone going to listen to you?” LIYA.  Hmmm, let’s see, anymore?  Oh, “you have no time Theresa,  NO Time”!  

I’m writing this blog to say it out loud.  I’m on a journey that I’m committed to.  I’m committed to becoming a coach, living a healthy lifestyle, and exercising.  More importantly I’m committed to loving myself as much as I love my boys.  My coach today said, “you would do anything for you kids, could you love yourself, that much?”   That’s a lot of love but I’m up for the challenge.

Love,
Theresa

Tummy Time for Mommy

Okay, it’s about that time.  As most of you know I’m a new mom for the second time and although I’m truly grateful for my little marshmallow, I’m a bit overwhelmed.  I have forgotten or actually abandoned myself in trying to take care of everyone else’s needs before my own. In my mind if Ellison, Adjei and Joaquin are happy and healthy then that will trickle down to me.  The reality of it is I keep getting sick, I’m angry with my husband, and I want to move to Texas.  That’s the truth. 

Shit damn it’s hard to take care of yourself during change.  I can start with baby steps, tummy time for mommy.  For those of you who have never heard of tummy time it’s when you put the baby on their belly so they can practice holding their head up to strengthen their neck.  So there are a few things that bring me a lot of peace.  First is prayer.  Second is eating more fruits and vegetables and tracking what I eat because I suffer from eating amnesia.  Third, is exercise and fourth is writing.  I will keep this all in mind today to take baby steps with my self-care.  Here I go!

100 Miles of Joy

One step seriously feels like a 100 miles sometimes.  Today I was so so very resistant to go for a run.  It was like my body was screaming GO HOME!!  I stretched for about 15 minutes and not yoga stretching more like the person at the track who is watching everyone and barely stretching.  I told myself just run for 10 damn minutes Theresa.  I finally negotiated with myself to run a few laps.  I don’t know what happened but I was able to run two miles.  What’s with that noise in our head?!  I mean really. It’s overbearing sometimes.  Sometimes I just want to say, “Shut the F up!”  But I have to treat that part of me called blah blah with kindness and patience because blah blah will strike back with good ol resistance, “I”M not doing IT!”

Fast Forward 1 week later......

This was the blog I was working on last week and boy how a few days of running really changes things.  I’m feeling really good.  I did a race this past weekend and it was the perfect first race of the year because it was for a wonderful cause and it was under three miles.  Today I went on a two mile run and it wasn’t easy but I pushed through it.  A dear friend of mine reminded me that he noticed I’m happiest when I’m writing and running. It was great to be told this because sometimes I forget what’s personal to me and brings me joy.  So I’m grateful to this friend.  

Hunger Fit

So for the past few days I’ve been pretty damn mindful of my eating and saying no to myself a lot.  Right now I’m eating a 6oz container of Fage 0% yogurt and a bowl of grapes, and blueberries.  Sometimes the need for a slice of apple pie from Blue Stove is like needing water after a workout.  Yesterday I was saying no to myself left and right and I had a long day of running around the city.  Luckily, I threw a washed apple in my bag because by 4:00 p.m. I was famished.   Just a piece of advice, always carry snacks with you like a washed apple, or raw nuts.  When I get into a hunger fit and I have an apple in my bag, it’s always super satisfying and it keeps me from buying roasted nuts on the street or mini cupcakes from Baked by Melissa (No’s from yesterday).   Even a sandwich with almond butter or natural peanut butter is good to carry around because it doesn’t go bad.  I carry snacks for my son all the time so what’s good for him is good for me too.

Today I want to get a 25 minute run in.  If you’re trying to start an exercise routine START SMALL!  Sorry I didn’t mean to yell but i’m really reminding myself.  I always want to be where I was or what I see around me but it can be overwhelming.  For running, I would suggest making time goals instead of distance goals.  I started the week with a 10 minute run and ended the week with a 20 minute run.   A little goes a long way.  

Running for Peace

You know what I love about running? I love that you can have a million thoughts and a million worries but after a run you feel clear headed.  I don’t know anyone who has ever been able to hold onto thoughts after a run.  I also feel like it clears everything out so God can speak to me. 

After my run today I felt really emotional about the Boston Marathon bombing. When I ran my first half marathon I remember seeing the finish line and feeling so happy.  I sprinted across that finish line because I wanted to finish strong and fly to my goal.  I felt supported.  I felt loved.  I felt God.  I think this is a time where I can contribute with my prayers, kind words, or a positive action.  I want to run 26.1 miles before May 5th for all those affected by this tragedy.  

Never Giving Up!

Well where oh where has this baby been?  I have to be honest with you friends, I have been in isolation. Lately I haven’t been exercising and my eating has been the worst it’s been in a very long time.   Some of my old habits like fried food, cake and ice cream, diet coke, CHIPS,  were only sometimes food.  However, lately I’ve snuck some of this stuff into my daily diet.  The result of not exercising  and starting tomorrow with my healthy eating has added up to 10 pounds of weight gain.  Yes, I know this for a fact because the great part of all of this is, I haven’t given up and I still go to my weekly WW meetings.  So the scale tells me so.  The scale is just a measuring tool but the real effect is feel I tired, moody, short tempered and overwhelmed.  

The positive to all of this is I haven’t gone to the part of my self esteem that can really beat myself up about this.  Don’t get me wrong, the voices are there but I’m choosing to have more compassion for myself.  I imagine a woman who really wants to do well but the resistance is so overbearing that she just can’t push through the wall.  Do I tell this woman, “what’s wrong with you, just stop eating or go for a short run!”  No, I wouldn’t say this to a stranger.  Do I tell this woman, “Wow you’re hopeless you might as well stop trying.”  No, I sure as hell wouldn’t say that either.  I would say, “Theresa, this stuff is hard, you’re fucking awesome and maybe it didn’t happen today but you can give it another shot tomorrow.”  Yes, Ma'am!

So the stinkin thinkin part is the hardest but in an imperfect way I’ve been kind to myself through this struggle.  I’ve had the courage to sign up for races this Spring and I started last Thursday with short 10 minute runs.  Today I ramped it up to 17 minutes.  I’m going to try again with my eating and do my best to track.  I will keep it small and gentle.

Boo Snow

Oh mother winter please let this be the last big snow.  I don't have much to say today.  My eating was good.  I didn't make it to the gym because of this snow storm but I did get some exercise in.  I decided to shovel the front of my building and my neighbors building.  I know I sound crazy but I really wanted some exercise and my apartment is small.  Plus I've always wanted to shovel snow.  It wasn't that much snow but my arms are sore!  I broke a sweat and everything.

Tomorrow I hope I can go to the gym and I hope my favorite class isn't canceled.  

Who? Dairy, me? No...

Hi friends!  I had a great jump start yesterday.  I went to total body conditioning last night and I also stayed for the abs and rebounding classes.  I didn’t go full out for any of the classes because I physically can’t right now but I felt really good.  My abs and tush are sore!  I love feeling sore and knowing it’s because I put some work in.  I didn’t eat my greens yesterday but I’m doing better today.

I went out to breakfast with my hubby this morning and I thought I ordered semi healthy but I decided to ask my waitress how the meal was prepared.  I don’t usually make special requests with how my food is prepared because I feel like I’m hassling the waitress and insulting the chef. But out of curiosity and because the meal tasted so good and my waitress was bright and friendly, I decided to get this information.  I had ordered from the side menu, two scrambled eggs and an order of kale, healthy right?  She tells me that the eggs were made with heavy cream and butter and the kale was also prepared with butter.  Ouch.  I already devoured the meal with the exception of a bite of egg so there was no turning back.  She must have noticed the pain in my face because she told me that if I was looking for a non-dairy option I could get poached eggs and request no butter.  How sweet that she thought it was a dairy problem. My husband laughed and said he was surprised I didn’t talk about weight watcher points with her.  I was in a cool restaurant with a hipster waitress, I preferred for her to assume I was anti dairy.  I think next time, in a super kind way, I will ask how the meal is prepared before I order.  

I haven’t decided how I will workout tomorrow but I will either take a class or run for 15 minutes.  I hope this snow doesn’t close down the transit system.  I will track what I eat and not go over my daily weight watcher points.

Goals for today

Meditate 

Eat more greens

Go to bed early

I Surrender O Uncertainty

Hi Friends.  It feels really great to be writing.  I’ve been resistant to blogging because life is not inspirational to me lately and it’s much more fun to write when I feel great.  I’ve been having a difficult time taking care of myself and I know the reason, so that’s what I’m going to write about.  Talking about my truth can be a little embarrassing at times but it’s also liberating and I feel encouraged and free when I do so. 

So lately I haven’t been able to make healthy eating choices or exercise because life feels uncomfortable and God isn’t doing what I want him to do.  I laughed as I wrote that.  My husband is in between work and the truth is, it’s effin scary when that happens.  I want this picture of security and when the picture doesn’t look secure one month from now in my mind, I want to obsess about it and that weight gets really heavy.  Thus making it difficult to do things like go for a run, go to the gym, or make a healthy meal.  I told my friend recently that I wish I could sleep through uncertainty and then wake up and everything look like I want it to.  Well La-di-da, life doesn’t work like that and thank God for that!  

I started meditating recently using the “Centering Prayer.”  I’ll be honest I’ve only tried it once and it wasn’t easy but I sat with it and it was incredible.  My talks with God have been pretty amazing and enlightening.  I had this awareness that I’ve been praying a lot that God send Ellison a new job.  Now there’s nothing wrong about praying for my husband to get a job but I realized that I was motivated because I wanted to secure my feelings of security.  That’s human.  However, I’m putting my peace of mind in the hands of people, places and things when God is the only real security.  He is the only one who knows my will and Ellison’s will.  

So what now.  Well I’m not in control of my husbands employment but I can choose to take care of myself.  I can choose to trust what is because our Father in heaven is so wonderful.  He is my best friend and I know he’s looking out for me and my hubby.  I can also choose to go to body conditioning tonight.  I don’t have to do my best because showing up is enough.  I can choose to to say no to snacks that make me feel tired or heavy.  I can write down what I eat.  I can eat more greens today.   

Goals for today:

Blog-check!

Track what I eat

Go to body conditioning

Meditate

This song makes me feel so good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FUXeg-elgM

I yam what I yam

Life is just so amazing.  I had a really beautiful 2012.  Nothing obviously spectacular happened.  I didn’t get the job of my dreams.  I didn’t slim down to the perfect figure I see in magazines.  I didn’t pay off my debt.  My family didn’t get a lot of money.  Life didn’t really change that much.  However, my perception was just so much greater than it has ever been.  I feel for the first time since I was kid I’m starting to accept myself more and more.  After my run today was thinking about my weight loss and I had a realization that my body has lost 65 pounds but my mind has lost another 50 pounds on top of that.  The weight of thinking I wasn’t good enough or successful enough or ever doing enough was HEAVY.  I mean, really effin heavy.   It’s only by the grace of God that today I feel enough.  I feel like I am who I say I am. This feeling is attainable by anyone. So how do I believe I’ve gotten here?

First, it’s been a lot of patience with myself.  My mom used to tell me to fake it until I made it.  Now, the word fake is probably not my favorite word but I get it.  I first needed to quit saying mean things to myself.  I needed to quit being so judgmental when I made a mistake.  I had to become a kind, gentle observer to myself instead of the back whipping judge.  So I’ve become extremely aware of negative self talk.  I may really feel it and want to say mean things to myself but I stop.  It was hard at first but it takes practice everyday and it gets easier.

Second, I’ve given over to my fear of asking for help.  This was extremely difficult for me because what I’ve taken pride over the past 20 years is my independent spirit.  However, sometimes being independent is also a form of pride. I have a lot of pride.  I relished in the thought that I could take care of everything that came my way on my own.  The truth is I need people.  I need strangers.  I need my family.  I need my friends.  This is also where Weight Watchers came in.  I know I need a food program for the rest of my life to keep this weight loss.  

Finally, I put my relationship with God first.  This is truly the first and last.  I start my day with prayer.  As soon as I open my eyes in the morning my first thoughts are prayers.  Prayers of gratitude, prayers of my needs. Conversation with God.  He is my best friend these days.  My mom told me that if I wanted to be the happiest person in the world then I should make Jesus my best friend.  He’s a pretty great guy, so I believe I’m doing it.  

On New Year’s Eve it felt weird not to have this huge goal in mind or not to have this great plan for the year.  But then I felt like, wow, for the first time I feel pretty content.  What a great feeling.  I felt like I just wanted to continue what I was doing.  I also feel like I’ll get to wherever I’m supposed to be.  I am no longer defined by what I have not done or what I’m going to do.  Like the great wise Popeye said, “I yam, what I yam.”

Run and Pray

I’m writing today because I feel like I’m slowly coming out of a fitness funk.  I was in a really bad space about my body and thought that I was really overweight again.  I had this moment where I believed I was fat. I haven’t had those thoughts in a long time.  I weighed in after Thanksgiving and I gained 3.6 pounds.  Since joining weight watchers 3 years ago, I haven’t gained that much weight.  However, I will say that when I was in Weight Watchers before the three years, I would just stop going when I got into this head space.  It’s been so hard for me to track and exercise.  Tracking is incredibly important to my self care.  I have to measure, weigh, and track because I can really fool myself into thinking I eat healthy and well proportioned.  

One reason I think I’m having a hard time is because I really want to enjoy this holiday season.  I miss my family and the way I reminisce is by making things my dad made for us.  My dad was the baker of the family.  I just want to enjoy the goodies of this holiday season and I don’t want to feel guilty about it.  Sure, some of you are thinking, “Well don’t feel guilty, just enjoy yourself, it’s Christmas.”  I wish it were that easy for me but it isn’t.  Eating a lot of sugar or eating abundantly isn’t good for me.  So I feel a loss.  I feel a bit left out.  

So on to my reflection and why today feels like I’m pushing through this funk.  Today I was able to go on my run and this run was incredible.  I read in my Self Magazine some advice given by an Iron Woman about her workouts.  She said she dedicates every mile to someone and then she calls them or emails to thank them for helping her get through the mile.  Well, this morning I took it a step further and I decided to pray for people during my run.  The first mile I prayed for one specific friend and I ran and envisioned total peace, joy and love.  I then would just say (in my mind) words that I wanted for this person like peace, love, abundance, happiness, gentleness and so on.  Well, the next mile came and I prayed for two more people who I decided to dedicate that mile to.  Finally by the third mile I was in a trance of prayer each lap for different people.  It was incredible.  

I’m so so glad I ran today and so far my eating is better.  I have so much gratitude for life and I know the root comes from the beautiful prayer time I had this morning.  Thank you Lord.  Tomorrow I will start tracking again and do some fitness.  If I find myself struggling I will dedicate a prayer to whoever comes to mind.  Thank you Lord for kissing my face with the sun today.  I felt your peace.

Slumpin but still Truckin

Well it’s been a long long time since I’ve written and I’ve missed you guys.  I guess the first thing I would like to update everyone on is my first half marathon that took place in October. It was amazing.  I felt so great and I was extremely proud of myself.  I started off really slow because I was afraid I would run out of steam.  At mile 10 I felt great, and was totally shocked at myself. I didn’t start to feel pain until mile 12 and I think it’s because I knew it was almost over.  For several hours after my race I was extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t research about how to recover post race and I took a hot bath.  Well, come to find out you’re supposed to take a cold bath.  The good news is the next day I had absolutely no pain at all.

Now fast forward to a month after my half marathon and I am running very little.  I’ve been in a slump. I’ve been walking a lot to compensate for not running but I miss those endorphins.  Today I’m going on a short run because it’s a gorgeous day and I just have to get out there.

The other slump I’ve been in is my eating.  Oy ve.  I’ve been in Weight Watchers for three years so patterns are really obvious to me, so I’m not freaking out.  Around this time of the year I start to feel a little lonely and reminiscent of the holidays that were spent with my family as a kid.  So how do I comfort myself? With bread, cookies, brownies, frito pies, cheese, and oh dear I need to stop because now I’m getting hungry.  It’s okay but I need to work on my no muscle.  Saying “No” to yourself is a muscle. I appreciate people giving me permission to say “Yes” to myself but the truth is, when it comes to my trigger foods which usually contains a lot of sugar, I have to say no more than yes. I really want to be present with my family and when I’m not taking care of myself, I’m tired and moody and just not happy with myself.  It has nothing to do with the scale because my body is the same.  I also notice that when I’m eating healthy and taking care of myself, my hubby and son follow suit.   

So Today here is a list of my No’s and Yes’s:

No to snacking except for fruit or veggies.
No to chocolate chips.
No to diet coke.

Yes to running 2 miles.
Yes to drinking more water.
Yes to tracking what I eat.
Yes to experimenting with a new grain.
Yes to accepting my feelings no matter how uncomfortable they are.

Thank you God for giving me choices.  Thank you God for friends.  Thank you God for family.  Thank you God for my body. Thank you God for music. Thank you God for always being there.

Eh, at least I tracked

Today was better than yesterday.  I resisted snacking on cheese and that's a plus.  I also went on my run this morning and did 2.75 miles.  It was such a relaxing run.  I really enjoyed it and I'm grateful that running almost three miles feels good and light.  What a blessing.

Food Diary

Morning
1  oz lean ham	1
1   English muffin	3
1/2 oz Havarti cheese	1
2  egg whites	1
1  large banana	0
Subtotal	6
Midday
1  large banana	0
Carrot cupcake	5
1 slice Bread Arnold Stone Ground	2
1  Tbsp creamy peanut butter	3
1/2 oz Pirate's Booty Rice and Corn Puffs	2
1  cup Imagine Soup	2
1  tbsp Favorit Swiss Preserves	1
Subtotal	15
Evening
1  serving(s) Tortilla Large (Mission)	6
1  oz shredded Cheddar cheese	3
4  oz Perdue Roaster chicken	6
1  Banana Nut Muffin (my recipe)	7
Subtotal	22

Pushing through

Hey guys.  I haven’t written in awhile and it’s because I’ve been off and doing a little bit of hiding.  The last couple of weeks have been really challenging for me because there have been a lot going on and I’m just a little tired.  Also, there is a bit of a health scare in my family and when that happens, I get paralyzed until I know everything is fine.  So I’m going to blog so I don’t eat my face off with Nutella.  I need to push through with my goals.  It’s hard for me to take care of myself when I get anxious about the future.  I’m really leaning on my faith right now and trusting that God is taking care of everything.  

On a positive note, I reached 8 miles on Sunday even though I sulked for about two hours before I left for my run.  A friend of mine, who is training for the NYC marathon, called me that morning to check on me and my training.  It was so much God driven because she and I hardly talk on the phone and she said I was on her mind.  God really shows up for even the smallest things.  So I went on the run and it was hard.  My feet started to hurt and the last mile my legs felt really heavy.  I think it’s also because my eating has been crappy.  

Today is usually my first run of the week but since I ran 13 miles over the weekend I felt like I needed a couple of days off.  Tomorrow I will go on a run and I will track what I eat.  I will also blog so I can focus on my journey and not obsess about things that are beyond my control.  

No food diary today because I didn’t track and I ate so much that I have food amnesia.

Persistance

It’s been a really great day.  I feel so incredibly blessed and grateful.  Lately one of my prayers has been to stay motivated with my running.  Sounds like a silly prayer but it’s important to me right now and I know that with everything I do, I have to bring God in.  So anyway, this week Ellison is out of town and I wasn’t sure how I was going to run because I can’t afford a babysitter. So I was just going to bag the entire week.  Well on Monday a friend, who doesn't live in my neighborhood, text me to go running and she even drove to my apartment. We did the bridge run as the sun was setting and it was absolutely beautiful.  Then another friend offered to watch Adjei on Friday so I can go for a run. Then ANOTHER friend offered to watch Adjei on Sunday so I can do my long run.  It’s amazing.  You know, not having family in NY is hard sometimes because it’s hard for me to ask for help.  So for friends to offer without me asking, it’s just a blessing.  I feel very taken care of by God lately and I heard a word THREE times today.  Whenever I hear something three times I know that I am being given a direct message. The word was persistence. Thank you Lord!

Food Diary

Morning
2  oz deli ham	2
1/2 large banana	0
2  egg whites	1
1/2 oz Swiss cheese	1
1  English muffin	3
1  ff slice Kraft Cheese	1
Subtotal	8
Midday
2 slices stone ground bread	3
1  small apple	0
1  peach	0
1 1/2 Tbsp creamy peanut butter	4
Subtotal	7
Evening
2  Tbsp sour cream	1
1  oz shredded Cheddar cheese	3
1  Pint of Ben and Jerry Greek strawberry shortcake yogurt	19
1  oz Baked Tostitos Tortilla Chips	3
1/3 cup taco beef (my recipe)	6
Subtotal	32

Need Motivation

The good news is, there are no more delicious brownies in the house.  The bad news is, I ate them all.  There is also no more lasagna which is a good thing too.  I don't think I'll ever be able to manage lasagna or brownies.  You know I need some kind of comfort when I make lasagna and brownies.  They're both super delicious and full of everything good and weight gaining.  I haven't modified those recipes yet because I use those two dishes to butter up my honey. I do use apple sauce instead of oil in the brownies but everyone should know that trick.

Tomorrow I'm doing another bridge run because I may only be able to run Tuesday and Wednesday this week.  I really need motivation.  I'm already slipping a little into the Fall mode of laziness.  I really need motivation.  It'll come.  It has to be non-negotiable.  That's it, I'm running tomorrow and I will do it joyfully.

Food Diary
Monday, August 27, 2012

Morning
2  slices cooked bacon	3
1  Mission Whole Wheat Tortilla	3
1  large egg	2
2  egg whites	1
1  fat free cheese slice (Kraft)	1
Subtotal	10
Midday
1  large peach	0
1 1/2 serving of Lasagna (my recipe)	16
3 slices of Adjei's tortilla pizza (my recipe)	5
2  Brownies (Duncan Hines)	9
Subtotal	30
Evening
2 slices of Arnold stone ground bread	3
2  oz deli ham	2
2  oz Swiss cheese	6
1/2 Tbsp regular butter	1
1  Brownie (Duncan Hines)	5
Subtotal	17

In Commitment

So today was really rough.  I woke up extremely tired but I prepared my body for my long run anyway.  My mind was not into the run at all.  I wanted to run 7-8 miles but I ran 5.25.  I reached the Williamsburg Bridge and did pretty good going over but on the way back I wanted to quit so bad.  I really wanted to walk home.  Then more self defeating thoughts came up.  I told myself I didn’t want to run anymore. I felt bored with running. It’s not fun anymore.  The new motivation for the half marathon was over. I’m just not in love with this goal anymore.   So I’m running up the hill from Manhattan and I just want to keep passing people.  Then there’s another hill and I just want to get to the top so I can get some relief.  Then finally I’m running slowly down the bridge back to Brooklyn.  Then the second part of the bridge is the steepest part and by then I’m flying down the bridge.  

It felt so good to run down that last hill.  I was reminded that hills are part of life and they’re effin hard.  Sometimes we just want to quit but eventually there will be another side to that hill. So right now I’m not in love with running but I am in commitment to it.  Sometimes love changes its forms and I have to stick with it even when the passion subsides.  I know that if I continue to  push through the resistance and also give myself a break, I will get to the “in love” part again.

Morning
1  cup low-fat milk	3
1  small banana	0
1/2 cup dry Oatmeal	4
Subtotal	7
Midday
1  serving of Lasagna (my recipe)	10
1  cup grilled eggplant and zucchini	3
Subtotal	13
Evening
2 slices of stoneground bread	3
1 1/2 oz Swiss cheese	4
2  oz deli ham	2
1/2 Tbsp regular butter	1
1  cup Butternut Squash Soup	2
1  Brownie	5
Subtotal	17

Still running

It's been a good week. I had a few days where my cramps were so painful but I managed to go on a six mile run and fulfill my training schedule.  I'm running seven miles tomorrow. My eating is pretty good.  I'm still tracking and that's a good thing.  I really need to do some cross training.

Food Diary

1  cup(s) fat-free plain Greek yogurt	3
2  small banana(s)	0
Subtotal	3
Midday
Spicy Salmon Roll - Quick-added food	11
Brownie Bite - Quick-added food	1
1  serving of lasagna (my recipe)	10
Subtotal	22
Evening
1  item(s) English muffin(s), any type	3
1/2 Tbsp regular butter	1
1  cup Imagine Butternut squash Soup	2
4 slices  grilled Eggplant	2
Subtotal	8

Push Through the Pain

I’m not feeling great today so I’m hoping that I’m able to do my run tomorrow.  I need to rephrase that.  I’m going on my run tomorrow but I hope to be able to push through the pain if I feel like I do today.  Please God give me energy.  I’m doing my bridge run tomorrow and that’s about 6 miles with hills.  It’s a calorie burner for sure.  I really enjoy my long runs. Tomorrow I want to eat more veggies.  I went to the farmer’s market today and got some beautiful zucchini's and Japanese eggplants.  I love grilled vegetables.

Food Diary

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Morning
1/2 cup low-fat milk	1
2  small bananas	0
1/2 Tbsp salted butter	1
1 1/2 oz hard roll	3
1  cup Cheerios Cereal	2
Subtotal	7
Midday
8  pieces brown rice California roll	8
8  pieces of brown rice salmon roll	7
Subtotal	15
Evening
1 1/2 oz hard roll	3
1  Tbsp Parmesan cheese	1
Bites of pasta - Quick-added food	2
1  cup(s) fresh blueberries	0
1/2 meat sauce (my recipe)	2
1 1/2 fried chicken fingers (my recipe)	9
Subtotal	17