I gained a pound this week. I have to say that I was shocked. I really thought I had a loss. In fact, my scale at home told me I lost 2 pounds, so I was not prepared for that. I thought all the exercise I did was going to save me from my poor eating. I literally gasped. I know it sounds dramatic but I was really disappointed. It got me thinking though. I started to reflect on the week and why I was over eating. The two main reasons why I overate were because of feeling entitled and also wanting to rebel. This happens a lot and these are the main reasons why I’ve gained all the weight I lost several years ago. I think, “oh I’m looking really good, that brownie won’t hurt, plus I deserve it!” The next thought is “I’ve exercised five times this week and I didn’t even track all the walking I did.” This feeling of entitlement is the main reason why I’m overweight.
The other reason was rebelling against the idea of “dieting.” I tell people all the time, “I’m not on a diet, I’m changing my lifestyle but I can eat whatever I want.” BIG FAT LIE!!! I can’t eat whatever I want because there are foods that have more power over me than I want to admit! I have to accept that and embrace it.
I just want food not to be such an issue with me. I want to think skinny but my way of thinking skinny is to have the choice to eat whatever I want. I’m crazy! I know I sound like I’m being too hard on myself but I’m not. I am determined to get better. I have to accept that I will work at this for the rest of my life. I can blame it on several things or I can take responsibility and look at it in a positive way and grow.
Tomorrow is Easter so I won’t go to they gym but I will go for a jog or a walk in the morning. I will also be mindful and track what I eat. FYI-- I love Michael Jackson. "Rock with you" is playing so I just took an intermission to do a boogie before posting this. :)
Actually, I don't think you sound like you're being too hard on yourself. I think you sound like a woman who is learning a lot about herself. I understand your disappointment, but one pound is no big deal. Especially for you because I know will you will lose it plus some by next weekend! You are machine! This was just a little reminder/life lesson to help keep you on track. I overeat for the EXACT same reasons. Like, EXACTLY! "Rock With You" is probably one of my favorite MJ songs, if not my favorite. Have a great Easter with your boys! xoxo
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