Day 291

So my baby boy is taking a nap and after inhaling a half a bottle of pine-sol from scrubbing my bathroom, I feel very clear minded. One of my favorite smells is pine-sol and beans. Too bad I don’t have a pressure cooker because I would probably be making beans. I remember growing up and coming home to a clean house that smelled like pine sol and cooking beans. The comal was on the stove and my Tootsie was making homemade tortillas. I can still see my kitchen on Sapphire. I was called the sapphire witch by my neighbors, they must have known something I didn’t. I still take pride in that name. Anyway, as I was scrubbing my tub I was thinking about how I’m always anticipating what’s going to happen next. How long is it going to take me to lose 20 pounds? Is my son going to excel in school? Am I going to be able to afford a bigger home? Will I have to work for the rest of my life? Am I living out my full potential? And it keeps going and going. I think a lot of us dwell on the future and once we get there, we dwell on how good things were in the past. Isn’t that funny? So as I was scrubbing my tub I was feeling so incredibly humble and grateful that it seriously brought me to tears. It could’ve been that I was high on the fumes from the chemicals but I felt so blessed. I think everyone should seek the grace of appreciating every single moment. How lucky are we that we still have life? You know, the news and politics have most of us feeling so uncertain, angry, and insecure but do you notice that when tragedy hits, we’re all united? Why does it have to be like that? I mean I could go into my conspiracy theory’s but that would just make me sound crazy and angry and I’m kind of feeling the love right now.

So with all that said, I haven’t been tracking this week and I feel a little off track with my eating. I know it’s because the weather is getting cold and I want to cozy up with pie but I really need to keep focused on what makes me feel happy and it’s not peach pie. Well peach pie does make me happy but not everyday. I’m going to try to track what I’ve had to eat today and continue to track tomorrow. I won’t be going to the gym today because I have a condo meeting. Tomorrow I’m going to try to do something different and physical with my boo bear.