Day 66

I went to body conditioning tonight and it was really great. I had two successes tonight. First, when I was doing the jump squats. A jump squat is when you jump off the step and squat and then jump on the step and squat. Well I touched the step every time I jumped off the step to squat. That made them much more intense. I once had the hardest time completing the set. Also, tonight was the first time that I held a plank for a full minute without dropping. This is some serious progress. It’s true that taking a break between workouts makes you stronger. It’s also true that you can’t wait until you feel like working out because I’m not sure that feeling will ever come. You have to start off doing it and hating it until it becomes a habit. Exercise is now built into my life. I am so incredibly grateful. If I ever stop exercising because I didn’t feel like it, PLEASE remind me that this is necessary to my happiness.

Tomorrow I am going to my first spin class. I hope it’s easier than it looks. I will also track what I eat and wake up early to prepare lunch.

Quote of the day

"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, and be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."

Anthony Robbins

Day 65

So this weekend is kind of a lost cause. I started my day off with a healthy breakfast and then I couldn’t resist the leftovers from the night before at lunch. On the road we stopped at Wendy’s and I did good. I ordered a Jr.Hamburger with a salad. The downfall was taking a piece of my mother in law’s dream chocolate cake because the cake didn’t make it home. Then we got stuck in awful traffic and I almost finished off a bag of goldfish.

I really hate blogging when I have nothing good to report. Well, the truth will set you free, right? Tomorrow I will go to my body conditioning class and I will track everything I eat truthfully. I will also wake up early so I can prepare breakfast and lunch. It’s going to be a great week.

Day 64

So today didn’t go as planned food wise but I’m having a terrific day. We are having a birthday party for my beautiful mother in law. There was so much amazing food that I just couldn’t control myself and I know I probably ate most of my weekly points. I also had a small slice of this incredible chocolate dream cake. I feel stuffed and uncomfortable but it really was worth it. I am going to pretend this day with food and points doesn’t count. I will start again tomorrow because that’s the only way I will get through the week with full motivation. I will also drink water for the rest of the night.

Tomorrow I am back to tracking and eating within my points. I won’t be able to workout until Monday but it’s my hardcore body conditioning class.

Well, the party is still happening and my son is almost asleep, so goodnight everyone!

Day 63

I lost 4 pounds this week! I am floored! I think it’s all the anxiety I was carrying. I let it all go when I gave my notice. Woo Hoo!! I also stayed committed to my workout goals for the week. I tracked all day today and I made healthy choices. I went over my points but only by a wee bit. I am going back to the principals that have made me successful.
They are:

1. Exercise at least 3 times a week but always try to do 4.
2. Eat fruit before every meal so I don’t make poor choices.
3. Prepare a few meals during the weekend so I don’t have to work so hard during the week.
4. Take the stairs every chance I get.
5. Track what I eat.
6. Blog and read my comments and fellow Follow Through blogs.
7. If I F up, try and try again.

I’m off to D.C. tomorrow and it’s going to be challenging with all the good food and wine that will be around. I’m going to have a great time but I will track what I eat and make sure I’m moving as much as possible.

Goals:
Pack a lunch and fruit for the road.
Eat purposefully and don’t tidbit.

Day 62

So I can share what my anxiety was about this week. I’ve decided to leave my job. I gave my notice today and I feel GRRRREAT about it. I was going to try to stick it out until May but the pressure and lack of accommodation was too much. I know in my heart it was the right thing to do. I am moving on to the next chapter of my life. My first focus will be spending some fun time with Adjei and getting him potty trained. Then I will get my headshots taken in May. Finally, back to the big stage and screen. I hope to give it everything I got. I’ve been watching clips of my favorite Broadway shows and I’m sitting here feeling so grateful and inspired.

I went to kick boxing today and I didn’t feel strong. My calves were burning. I think the stress and overeating from the week really wore me out. I fulfilled my workout goal this week and I couldn’t be prouder. Although I probably had like 400 points this week, I still managed to work out. Tomorrow is the start of my new week and I’m going to focus on tracking and exercising. This is the year for change and follow through. I will have many vulnerable weeks but I will never stop trying.

Tomorrow I will weigh in and start new with tracking and planning. I am already 62 days in so I have to get focused.

Inspiration:
Forward to 3:30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtnKI3ztz9w

Day 61

So I feel so much better today. I was full of a lot of anxiety this morning and I still had my headache. I wasn’t feeling like going to the gym at lunch. I remembered what my friend April said about how I will work out during my lunch breaks because it makes me feel good. I said that to myself a few times today and I went to Zumba. After class, my anxiety was gone and my mind was clear and secure. My headache is officially gone and I am so grateful. I was starting to get scared.

I didn’t take my lunch today because I just didn’t feel like preparing anything. My eating improved but was not the best. I was craving a bagel with peanut butter this morning but instead, I had a small bowl of cereal with a banana. For lunch I had a sensible salad. For dinner I had one slice of pizza and the other half of my Ritter sport chocolate bar. When you start on a spiral road to mindless eating, the bad cravings start and can be so overwhelming. Exercise is the key to re-focus. Tomorrow I will go to kick boxing and I will end the WW week within my daily point allowance. I am committing to this.

All your comments and support help me so much! Thank you!

Goals:
Eat only 29 Points
Kickboxing
Be positive and remember that I am smart, hard working, and worthy.

Day 60

It’s unbelievable how much food and lack of control can impact your mood and focus. I feel totally off this week. This week Ellison has to go into work early, work late and he is going to school at night. So as of late I feel like a single mom. I am so grateful to have a husband who participates because it’s rough being the person taking Adjei to daycare and picking him up, getting him fed, bathed, and dressed for bed. I’m pooped! I know some people who don’t live in NYC may not understand the chore of taking your son to daycare but to give you a vision. I have a 15 minute speed walk to the train, then I climb down two flights of stairs to the subway, then transfer trains, walk up three flights of stairs to another train, then up two more flights to the street, then a five minute walk to the daycare. Usually no one helps. It's the price I pay to live in this city but I need to feel sorry for myself right now.

I hate that I am still reverting back to eating poorly when I feel overwhelmed by fear and stress. I really thought I was conquering this. I can get through this. Shit, I ordered a Pizza. This is bad guys. Tomorrow I am going to Zumba at lunch. I will track and I will prepare lunch for tomorrow.

I am Grateful for
Being a mom. I can’t believe I waited so long for my binky.
Attracting so many amazing women in my life.
My migraine slowly going away.