Day 211

It’s been a busy weekend. I went on that bike ride with my boys today and it was really nice. Usually when Ellison takes Adjei on a bike ride I go running. For some reason I have it in my head that I’m not exercising unless it’s painful. We had a great time and Adjei was so excited that I was with them. I think a lot of people think exercise has to be painful but it doesn’t. As long as you get out of the house and move, that’s benefiting your body.

As far as food, I haven’t tracked this weekend but I don’t think I’ve done too badly. I’m going to start tracking again tomorrow. I’m taking my boo bear with me to get my Frida’s waxed. I remember when I worked in midtown I was always jealous of the mothers walking around the city with their babies. I use to long to be with my son and tomorrow I will push my binky down 5th Avenue. I hope he behaves. My city baby doesn’t like the subway.

Day 210

Big big sigh! I am worn out. Today was a very good day. It started off really interesting. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and I started my pre-race ritual—Water, food, stretch, and shower. I was not rushed, Ellison was taking care of Adjei, and everything was great. I left a good hour and a half before the race started, so I had plenty of time. Mind you, I was just going to another part of Brooklyn for this race. I only had to take one train. Well, I didn’t check the scheduled train work and there weren’t any signs at my station indicating there was going to be an issue. To make a long story short, I end up taking three trains to get to the race, thus making me 10 minutes late. It took me 1 hour and 40 minutes to get to another part of Brooklyn! So I get to the park and I’m sprinting trying to find the starting line and there just isn’t much guidance. I was told to go right so I’m running right and then all of a sudden I read 1 ½ mile. I knew that was wrong for me because I hadn’t even started. So I turn around and guys on bikes are screaming “wrong way!” I couldn’t find any of the racers and I was already like 40 minutes into the race. Prospect Park is huge. So I’m running around like a mad woman and I end up in a remote construction area where there are strange men walking around. I started to get really upset because at this point I really just wanted to finish the race. I run into these ladies and they’re like “How was the race?!” And I’m like, “I’m lost, I need to know where the finish line is.” They say, “Well, we’re pretty sure it’s not here.” NO REALLY?! So they point me to the direction of 15th street and I finally found the finish line. I was the very last person to cross the finish line. In fact, they took down the “Finish” blow up right after I crossed. I don’t even know how much I ran but it feels like it was more than three miles. I was running off and on for more than an hour. I am in so much pain. I was so close to leaving in tears and just saying fuck it but I was determined to at least finish. I’m proud that I kept going even though everything was going wrong. Good lord, I am so pooped.

Tomorrow I will go on a bike ride with the family and relax. I also need to get ready for my Miami trip. Oh and I lost two pounds this week. Woo Hoo!

Day 209

So I am glad this week is over. I feel bothered by my eating this week but I’m excited to start new. Tomorrow I’m running another 5k and I know this is just what I need to jump start my focus. I’m going to cheat and go to WW after, so hopefully I will have a small loss that will give me some mental momentum. However, if I have another gain, or I stay the same, I will not let it discourage me. This is probably the worst I’ve been in a long time. I don’t like this feeling. There is obviously something deeper and I know what it is but I need to have faith and stay grateful.

Tomorrow I will try as hard as I can to run the race in less than 30 minutes. I will also track what I eat and be positive.

Day 208

So this is just embarrassing but I am negative 35 points for the week. The one thing I’m proud of is that I’ve been tracking everything. It hurts to track when you overeat because writing it down, and seeing the long stupid list, is just annoying. There are a few things I did right today. I wanted pizza but instead I came home and had pasta. It wasn’t much better but at least I didn’t eat out. I also wanted a candy bar but instead I bought a banana. I will keep tracking and trying until I get my fire back. Tomorrow I absolutely can’t eat junky because I have a race on Saturday. I will probably go over my points but it will be with healthy carbs. I need to give up diet coke. Every time I start drinking diet coke, I eat too much.

Day 207

I feel like a pig tonight. I’m sorry I said I wasn’t going to say mean things about myself but I can’t help it. I have an uncontrollable sweet tooth and I just can’t control my cravings. To make matters worse, Ellison had to work a little late so I missed body conditioning. I could’ve gone for a run but instead I stuffed my face. I wish sometimes I wasn’t a slave to my routine. I need to get some new motivation because I don’t want to stay at the weight I’m at.

I don’t want to say that I’m going running tomorrow because I already don’t want to go. How about that I will commit to a walk. If I just get out of the house in the morning, then maybe I will be inspired to do more. Tomorrow I will also plan my meals better.

Day 206

You know I haven’t been doing great with my eating but I have been consistent with my exercise. I went grocery shopping today so I feel better prepared for the rest of the week. I know I will get my drive back because this is just how life works. You have your weeks and months where you are extremely motivated and consistent and then you have the times when it’s just slow moving. The goal is to never lose focus during the slow times. This behavior happens in all aspects of life. So right now I will continue to keep trying until I get my second wind and then I will be on fire again. Ms B was extremely late in her arrival and I thought she was trying to ruin my Miami trip. I’ve decided to be extra nice to her no matter how terrible she is. I love Miss B; she is quite the lady and always welcome.

Tomorrow Adjei and I have a zoo date with the best neighbors in the world; one of them happens to be Adjei’s best buddy. I also have body conditioning in the evening so it will be a busy day. I will really try to plan ahead so I don’t go over my points.

Day 205

So today was a huge success because I DID NOT WANT TO GO TO BODY CONDITIONING. I even snacked on junk one hour before I had to leave. When I plan on working out, I usually don’t eat so close to a workout, especially not cheese with a tortilla. So I actually had it in my head early that I was going to bail on myself. I was so slow moving and I asked Ellison to please convince me to go. I mean, I was even out the door and I was seconds from walking back home. I finally had to scold myself and say, “Theresa, just effin do it and don’t half ass either!” Sometimes there is absolutely no motivation and no inspiration to take care of yourself, and that’s when you just have to suck it up and do it. So I did and I did it 100%! Oh Oh! I feel so powerful when I do something I didn’t want to do. It makes me stronger and more motivated. Soooooo shaky shaky shaky and shimmy shimmy shimmy!

My eating today was again plentiful but I will do better tomorrow. I haven’t been grocery shopping so my fridge is kind of empty. I need my staples to be successful or I eat a lot. I will eat a lot of stupid stuff too. Tomorrow I will grocery shop and prepare meals for the rest of the week. I also need to go running because I have my race on Saturday.