Hi Guys! So I’ve been in a shitty mood and I know it’s because my eating is crap. It’s so hard not to beat myself up, so hard. I tell myself the same thing I would tell anyone, “you’re doing great, go easy on yourself, don’t give up,” blah blah blah. It’s just been so hard to respond to the nice part of me in a nice way. Fucking perfectionism! Fuck you! I have some shit on my chest so if cursing offends you, please forgive me and stop reading. Fuck! Why can’t I just be consistent? I’m feeling really bitter today. I actually sometimes hate that I’m obsessed with a perfect body because it means that I’m flawed in so many ways. Yesterday I didn’t feel like watching the Oscars because I really didn’t want to see the same people celebrating themselves. I know I sound bitter but I was in just one of those moods. I watched it anyway and I was blown away at how damn skinny everyone was. I wonder how long I can feel this sad, disappointed, and angry before I get tired of myself. Sometimes when I allow my feelings to stay put, they usually go away. Big squeezy hug to me for being so honest. Good for you Theresa.
So today I will treat myself like I treat my son, with patience, kindness and care. I will do the best I can. I will check in with how I’m feeling when I want to snack. I will also do something nice for myself like write myself an encouraging note.
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